My Sis

For five years my sister Linda has battled cancer. She has been an amazing survivor, enduring rounds of radiation and chemotherapy treatments. She has been an optimist with an enviable attitude—I’ve often wondered that if I were in her situation, would I have been so positive? Maybe not.

On Christmas afternoon her husband called to tell me that she had passed away. I can’t really explain how it feels to lose a sister. It’s harder than I thought it would be. I think in life that we just expect our parents to go first. I think our parents expect to die before their children, and for that, my heart aches for my mom who has now lost a child.

I believe that there are two things we can take with when we die—our relationships and the things that we know. I will forever be grateful to Linda for making the trip to Utah this past July when I was visiting with the kids. We spent two good weeks playing, taking walks, eating, and laughing. My kids love their Aunt Linda. Every birthday there was a package with a homemade card waiting at the doorstep. We laughed because it would take at least 15 minutes to open her presents—cutting through the multiple layers of 3M packing tape. Her favorite story to retell to me was when she tried to negotiate adopting Carly with Zach. Carly was about 1 and Zach was 5 or so. She told Zach she would trade Blade (their Golden Retriever) for Carly and Zach said “OK”!! I think he was ready to sign on the dotted line! (It took me an hour to convince Zach that we would NOT be trading Carly). Another time she took the boys on a walk in her neighborhood in Reno. They were climbing a large hill and were out of eye-shot of her home. Zach and Josh were about 3 and 4 years old. Jokingly, she said: “I think we’re lost. I don’t know how to get home!” Josh runs over to a little boulder, climbs it, and starts yelling: “Hellllp…Helllp!” I love her humor; that was just her way and I love her for it. I will miss that so much.

As for the things that she knows, she knows a lot about being a good wife and mother. She was a great mom to two wonderful boys, Jason and Matt. She knows how to be a good friend. The best thing about sisters is that you can be both sisters and great friends. I will miss my sister and my friend. Over the past few years, I have seen her renewed belief in the power of faith and prayer. I know that it was her faith that sustained her during these last few months because she told me so. Those are the things that she knows and will take with her.

I am happy to know that this life is just a step in a great plan. It’s really the only way to get through a loss. And I am comforted to know that families can be eternal. I believe this, I hope for it, and I am banking on it!